I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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