My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
