Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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