I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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