I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
There are leaves in my underwear?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
tell me about the eggs
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
