it wasn't lemon gatorade
i barfeds in our rink
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
