The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
MIDGETS
????
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize