You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
one might say we're banned from that church
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
