Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
