Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Damn victory sex feels great
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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