but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
