what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
