K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
