The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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