we have officially lost it.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
