I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
