If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize