think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
