this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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