She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize