I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
