I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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