About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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