absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
