i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
