in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
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