I just saw a hot homeless man
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
