opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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