If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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