So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
