Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
