I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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