Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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