is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
