I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
