I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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