My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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