sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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