covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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