actually, I'm a sock model
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
