If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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