Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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