i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
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