oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I need a beard to bite.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
