I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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