I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
