shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
