found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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