He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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