I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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