Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book

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  (303): I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book http://tfl.nu/0iyr
  Replies (18) Good night (1427) Bad night (6643)
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  (+34): View more from Spain

  Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.

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  (+34): Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow. http://tfl.nu/qh3w
  Replies (16) Good night (4221) Bad night (653)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.

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  (215): the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says. http://tfl.nu/scvs
  Replies (54) Good night (4296) Bad night (691)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.

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  (561): i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching. http://tfl.nu/cq5g
  Replies (43) Good night (1147) Bad night (5089)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"

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  (410): i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??" http://tfl.nu/civz
  Replies (43) Good night (934) Bad night (14749)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes

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  (514): you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes http://tfl.nu/cth1
  Replies (21) Good night (7674) Bad night (1238)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex

  (1-310): View more from California

  wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh

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  (310): she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex (1-310): wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh http://tfl.nu/mhlr
  Replies (17) Good night (1031) Bad night (4147)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..

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  (610): He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him.. http://tfl.nu/ejw3
  Replies (10) Good night (1372) Bad night (3550)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"

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  (708): did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement" http://tfl.nu/nqth
  Replies (3) Good night (1892) Bad night (1158)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes

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  (208): No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes http://tfl.nu/t8pf
  Replies (7) Good night (1075) Bad night (2655)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.

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  (919): No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you. http://tfl.nu/9kp9
  Replies (4) Good night (2695) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.

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  (208): If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas. http://tfl.nu/e1hv
  Replies (4) Good night (1356) Bad night (379)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.

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  (330): You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes. http://tfl.nu/v1u1
  Replies (2) Good night (837) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??

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  (917): MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL?? http://tfl.nu/mxcy
  Replies (3) Good night (346) Bad night (233)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.

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  (952): We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor. http://tfl.nu/wqik
  Replies (1) Good night (320) Bad night (105)

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