We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
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It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
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I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.