Texts From Last Night

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  (682): View more from Texas

  nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise

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  (682): nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise http://tfl.nu/kg9z
  Replies (1) Good night (1116) Bad night (598) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi

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  (781): Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi http://tfl.nu/7xgh
  Replies (2) Good night (982) Bad night (540) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children

  (1-802): View more from Vermont

  actually, i try not to think about it

  (802): View more from Vermont

  and i pooped them out

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  (802): does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children (1-802): actually, i try not to think about it (802): and i pooped them out http://tfl.nu/h4ew
  Replies (54) Good night (7795) Bad night (1630)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma

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  (513): He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma http://tfl.nu/x4vk
  Replies (16) Good night (795) Bad night (3616) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida

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  (813): Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida http://tfl.nu/bfwv
  Replies (30) Good night (3529) Bad night (889) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.

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  (413): You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief. http://tfl.nu/eaos
  Replies (40) Good night (4907) Bad night (3151)
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  (718): View more from New York

  The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.

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  (718): The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be. http://tfl.nu/vr33
  Replies (5) Good night (3360) Bad night (1150) Order T-Shirt
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  (819): View more from Quebec

  He was spoon feeding me wine all night.

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  (819): He was spoon feeding me wine all night. http://tfl.nu/fggg
  Replies (4) Good night (3053) Bad night (860) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have

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  (727): I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have http://tfl.nu/1hgx
  Replies (2) Good night (1005) Bad night (453) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.

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  (901): She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid. http://tfl.nu/lor2
  Replies (3) Good night (978) Bad night (433) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.

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  (612): Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all. http://tfl.nu/jmi7
  Replies (1) Good night (670) Bad night (750) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying

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  (330): I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying http://tfl.nu/l6qe
  Replies (6) Good night (296) Bad night (634) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.

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  (208): I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw. http://tfl.nu/7hkg
  Replies (3) Good night (779) Bad night (235) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i need some food

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.

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  (724): i need some food (412): Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him. http://tfl.nu/mb52
  Replies (9) Good night (429) Bad night (488)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.

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  (615): Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face. http://tfl.nu/mm6o
  Replies (5) Good night (940) Bad night (167) Order T-Shirt

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