i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him