Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?

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(612): View more from Minnesota

My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.

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(802): View more from Vermont

he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.

(1-802): View more from Vermont

it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.

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(+86): View more from China

Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(319): View more from Iowa

My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.

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(415): View more from California

get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing

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(512): View more from Texas

I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.

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(707): View more from California

Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.

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