just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.