I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating