okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
