so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
