Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
