The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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