OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
