remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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