My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
