about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
