Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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