So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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