this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize